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Last night we didn't make it to midnight. I took a sip of wine before Kieran needed me and I fell asleep. When I awoke to join Nick, he had fallen asleep, and I felt it wasn't really worth losing sleep over the new year. Lame? yeah... just a bit. But with a newborn and two small children, what more could one ask for? I am so overwhelmed by my new role, and things that I could once do with ease have become a monumental task. I was reading in my new family cookbook, how my great, great grandmother worked in the fields all day and cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner over a wood stove, helped slaughter pigs and milk cows... with 8-10 children. I can barely pour a couple bowls of cereal. And I wonder if she was up all night sewing, and mending as well. All I know is that I feel far from my great, great grandmothers greatness tonight, as I finish my glass of wine that I would have had at the dawn of a new year. And I look at these three wonders and remind myself that what really matters is the heart. How much we lived and loved from year to year.
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Today Anastasia stood at the table at my parents house and sung her own song. A song she made up by herself and sung with her whole heart for my family and I laughed and cried, and my heart melted as if it had been cold for a good long while. So I bring in the new year with but one goal, to live, and love, and pray with my whole heart, and not hold back as a little four year old has taught me yet again.
"Well Hello World, How you been?
Good to see you, my old friend.
Sometimes I feel Cold as steel
As if I'm never gonna heal.
I see a light. A little hope. In a little girl.
Well Hello World.
-Lady Antebellum
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