Saturday, January 1, 2011

We'll take a cup of kindness yet...

Last night we didn't make it to midnight. I took a sip of wine before Kieran needed me and I fell asleep. When I awoke to join Nick, he had fallen asleep, and I felt it wasn't really worth losing sleep over the new year. Lame? yeah... just a bit. But with a newborn and two small children, what more could one ask for? I am so overwhelmed by my new role, and things that I could once do with ease have become a monumental task. I was reading in my new family cookbook, how my great, great grandmother worked in the fields all day and cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner over a wood stove, helped slaughter pigs and milk cows... with 8-10 children. I can barely pour a couple bowls of cereal. And I wonder if she was up all night sewing, and mending as well. All I know is that I feel far from my great, great grandmothers greatness tonight, as I finish my glass of wine that I would have had at the dawn of a new year. And I look at these three wonders and remind myself that what really matters is the heart. How much we lived and loved from year to year.
Today Anastasia stood at the table at my parents house and sung her own song. A song she made up by herself and sung with her whole heart for my family and I laughed and cried, and my heart melted as if it had been cold for a good long while. So I bring in the new year with but one goal, to live, and love, and pray with my whole heart, and not hold back as a little four year old has taught me yet again.
"Well Hello World, How you been?
Good to see you, my old friend.
Sometimes I feel Cold as steel
As if I'm never gonna heal.
I see a light. A little hope. In a little girl.
Well Hello World.
-Lady Antebellum

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